"I stayed to save my marriage" says woman whose hands were chopped off by her husband

When Jackline Mwende sought advice on her bad
marriage, she was given the same counsel many
women in abusive relationships get: stay and fight
for your marriage. The first pastor she went to for
advice told her to stay and pray for her marriage.

Long before Ms Mwende's hands were hacked off
by her husband, Stephen Ngila, 34, for not
conceiving, their seven-year marriage had been
plagued with constant fights that stemmed from
not having a child.

A hospital in Nairobi told the couple that Ms
Mwende was fertile and healthy but her husband
had reproductive "issues". However, she believed
in her marriage and had been advised by another
pastor and some of her friends to stay and try to
save it.
Pastor Patrick Kioko of Masii District SDA church,
who was the couple's best man on Monday told
Nation Kenya that the marriage between Ms
Mwende and Mr Ngila had been rosy at the
beginning but things started changing towards
the end of last year.

"It seemed there was hope for reconciliation but
the man was not ready to mend the union. In fact,
he even moved out and rented a room in Masii
town."
He said Mwende was afraid "to be seen as the
one who broke her marriage".
This was escalated to a church hearing because
the issues seemed unresolved and the couple
was urged to settle their differences and save
their marriage.
"But we noticed the man was determined to
leave. So it was agreed that they live in peace in
their separate homes and ask the courts to
dissolve the marriage. Because, as a church, we
don’t end marriages."
He said the church was planning to bring them
together but then the attack happened.

"We were shocked how it turned out even after all
the effort we put in. Anger is dangerous in a
union and this is something we all should learn
from."
Ms Mwende met Mr Ngila, a tailor, shortly after
finishing Standard Eight in Kathama Primary
School, Machakos County, in 2010, and she says
it was love at first sight. She described her
husband as a "kind and God-fearing" man.

"He taught me how to make dresses and clothes.
We fell in love during this time and we had a
church wedding three months later," she said.
"But he gradually became violent and a drunk. He
spent more time in Masii town and would come
back late at night, drunk and violent. He also
chewed miraa. When he attacked me on Sunday,
he was drunk. But I stayed because I wanted to
save the marriage and my home."
Tears welled up in her mother’s eyes on hearing
her daughter’s determination to save her
marriage.
"I pleaded with her to pack her things and leave
their home in Ilinge village because of the
constant quarrels, but she said he would change.
Then this happened,” Ms Jane Munyoki, the
mother, lamented. "I gave him my daughter, who
was complete and well, and now she does not
have hands. I hope the government does not
release him. I am afraid that if he is let go, I will
die of depression."
Meanwhile, Stephen Ngila has been charged with
attempted murder of his wife. He appeared before
Wamunyu Law Court Resident Magistrate K.
Kibellion. He denied the charges and was sent to
the Machakos GK remand until August 5. He was
also denied bond until the same date when the
court will rule on the issue.
Source: The Nation Kenya